Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts

October 13th to October 18th 2003

MONDAY October 13
Uri Geller and James Randi

Uri Geller's most notorious critic is a stage magician called James Randi. Randi can bend spoons by sleight of hand. He figures Uri must also be cheating. This is like saying: 'I can dye my hair blonde convincingly. Therefore, there cannot be any such thing as a natural blonde.' David Blaine is another magician who has been drawn to Uri... but instead of getting jealous, he has become inspired. David really is using nothing but mind over matter to stay in that box. And as Uri explains, on his page today, David is encouraging us all to think again about what's possible.
TUESDAY October 14
Shooting stars and Old Wives

Dear Jonathan
I recently saw (for the first time) a spectacular shooting star. Will this bring me good fortune or is that just an old wives' tale?
Many thanks

Dear Jennie,
Astrologers don't officially work with shooting stars. We carefully interpret angular distances between planets. But, er... I always find, if you really wish hard on a shooting star, it tends to pay off!
PS: What's wrong with old wives? If they have lived that long and held a marriage together, they must know something. And what about old husbands? How come nobody is ever rude about them?

WEDNESDAY October 15
Stop smoking

Hello Jonathan,
Do you have any tips for a Pisces trying to quit smoking?

Dear Kelly,
It is odd how we all, like lemmings, give up bad habits on New Year's Day. If we could only begin at moments more appropriate to our individual charts, success would be far more likely. Until mid December for example, Mars is in your sign. Your best time to start... is now!
PS I remember when I quit, I picked a time that felt right, made stopping my 'deepest desire'... and somehow forced myself to like nicotine gum.

THURSDAY October 16
John Michell - A message from outer space

A message from outer space by John Michell
The most significant event in the UFO saga happened two years ago. It was the first direct communication we have received from space beings. And it came in answer to a message sent from Earth into space 27 years earlier.
In 1974, Carl Sagan and a team of extraterrestrial researchers used the giant Arecibo radio telescope in Puerto Rico to beam out data on ourselves and our solar system. The message was in binary coding, and the reply, when it came, was similar. It gave details of another part of the universe and the beings that inhabit it. Sagan's team should have been excited by this response to their signal. But not at all. They dismissed it out of hand. That was because the reply came in a form they did not expect, in markings on an English wheat field, in a crop formation!
Crop circles are the greatest mystery of our times. Many experts have tried to explain them, but still no one knows who or what is creating them. Every summer for the past 15 years or so, wonderful new designs have occurred. They appear instantaneously, as if transmitted from a distance.
On August 20, 2001, two crop formations were discovered in a field next to the Chilbolton radio telescope in Hampshire. One showed a huge, human-like face, the other contained the extraterrestrials' message. It described another solar system, remote in space. Its population is far greater than ours. 21.3 billion. They are smaller that us, 3 ft 4 in tall, with larger heads. Their genetic DNA is different, and they are partly made of silicon. These people claim that they are now among us on earth. They do not say why they are here. The data they gave was purely factual. But the signs are that their purpose is benevolent.
You are bound to be told that crop circles are all hoaxes. But there is no evidence of that. The message was serious, and no one claims to have made the formations. So I take it to mean what it says: that extraterrestrials are now with us, preparing us to accept them.
  • John Michell would love to hear about your experience of any unusual or unexplained phenomena. Email John at:
  • To read more from John Michell click here

FRIDAY October 17
Shooting stars plus cosmic questions with Bernard Fitzwalter

Dear Jonathan,
The other day, you mentioned shooting stars. I come from the Dominican Republic where people believe each one represents someone who has just died. According to their tradition, you shouldn't comment on seeing the shooting star, you should just pray for the safe passage of the person passing over to the gates of heaven.
Best Wishes, Linda

Thanks Linda,
As I was saying the other day, Western astrologers don't usually read meaning into them. But maybe we should. If you know how they are seen in other parts of the world.... or if you have special feelings about shooting stars, please drop me a line. Meanwhile, below, my colleague Bernard has some more astrological answers for us all.

Cosmic Questions... with Bernard Fitzwalter
I was born with Jupiter rising in Sagittarius. I am told this is fortunate and I have been lucky in the past. But not in the last 20 years. Is there some way of giving Jupiter a kick start?

Bernard replies:
Big planets like Jupiter get 'switched on' when another big planet like Saturn or Uranus passes the part of the sky that Jupiter occupied when you were born. Uranus and Neptune were busy in that part of Sagittarius in the 80s, but since then there's been a gap. Until now. Pluto started trundling through Sagittarius a few years back. It will reach the same position as your Jupiter at the end of this year. Your dull days are over: life is about to get interesting again!

A few days ago, I was up in the early hours and saw the moon going down over the horizon. I never knew that the moon actually set. Can you explain?

Dear Pat,
Everything in the sky rises and sets once a day: sun, moon, planets, constellations, the whole lot. The moon also goes around the earth once every 28 days, which means that it changes position from one day to the next. All this moving about means that the moon appears to rise and set about 40 minutes later each day. To be born at moonset is to have the moon in the seventh house. This denotes strong emotion and an adventurous personal life.

SATURDAY October 18
David Blaine and Renee Zellweger

A Let Down for David
Tomorrow night, David Blaine leaves his box. He may be starving but he's certainly giving other people a lot of food for thought. Will he make it? Is he really in there? Is he secretly getting nutrients in his water? Is it all a trick? The answers, as I stated weeks ago, are yes, yes, no and no. And will he be OK when he comes out? Hmmm. David was born on April 4, 1973. He an Aries with Mars in Aquarius which explains his love of the unusual. He'll be OK, kind of... eventually. But he'll never do that again.
Click here for more information on David's endurance test.

Don't waddle away, Renee
While David has been shedding pounds, Renee Zellweger has been piling on them on. Renee, born April 25, 1969, has typically Taurean determination, but her Moon in Leo makes her exceptionally flamboyant. Plus, she has Mars in Sagittarius. Mars is the planet of career. Sagittarius is the sign of versatility. Renee can adapt... (always handy for an actress) and will rise to almost any challenge (even if it involves doubling her dress size). Readers with less flexible metabolisms should look away now. The following prediction is depressing: when the filming is over, Renee will have no problem slimming straight back down.

Tackle Below the Belt
How many weeks now, have I been featuring Stephen Gough, the naked rambler? Not as many as he has been locked in prison. Stephen believes we have a basic human right to go about as nature made us. Whether he is right or wrong it certainly can't be right for the Inverness authorities to keep him locked up without trial for so long. What IS their problem? Maybe it's all because he is not Scottish. It is hard to imagine them being quite so harsh on Billy Connolly, who famously frolics nude in public from time to time. Billy, born November 24, 1942, is a devil-may-care Sagittarian with the Moon in quick-witted Gemini. His wife, Pamela Stephenson, is a Sagittarian too.


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