Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts

AUGUST 28 to 2nd September 2006

MONDAY August 28
Pluto comment

Pluto has been weighed and found wanting, sized up and marked down. It is, says a selection of top astronomers, too skinny and scrawny to be a proper planet. I spent much of the weekend trying to write about this. It was hard to find the words to express my disbelief at the sheer idiocy of this size-obsessed decision. Then I learned that senior scientists feel the same. Already some have broken ranks and variously described the decision as 'inept' and 'embarrassing'. I hereby predict that they will yet find a way to reverse - or wriggle out of - it.

TUESDAY August 29
Squirrels telepathy email

Dear Jonathan,
I was puzzled when I noticed the local squirrel family ferrying their offspring one by one from a large tree at the end of my garden to an equally large tree in the next but one garden. I couldn't understand why they should decamp from one tree to another especially as their new home was a fruit tree - not a nut tree! The next day, however, I returned home to find that tree surgeons had been and performed surgery on their old home. Those squirrels MUST have known their babies were imperilled!

Is Earth no longer a planet email

Dear Jonathan,
The International Astronomical Union has declared that a 'planet' is a celestial body that orbits the Sun, has sufficient mass to assume a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape, and has cleared the neighbourhood around its orbit. Pluto is no longer a planet because it has not cleared its orbit. But Neptune has not cleared Pluto from its orbit either. And OUR MOON is in orbit round the Sun, not the Earth. It's just got a wiggle caused by interacting with us. So, as Earth has not 'cleared its neighbourhood', is it no longer a planet either?

THURSDAY August 31
Is Cosmic Ordering selfish email

Dear Jonathan,
I can't help but feel that all this talk about Cosmic Ordering is very selfish. You keep printing letters from people who are trying to get what they want. Couldn't they do some cosmic giving - and help make the world a better place for others instead?

Dear Andy,
They could. Whilst it can be used entirely for personal and materialistic ends, Cosmic Ordering can also be part of the process by which the whole world becomes a more conscious, compassionate place. If that's what enough of us truly want to prioritise, that's what we can create.

FRIDAY September 1
Pluto 'dwarf planet' comment

You know what I find terribly offensive? It's not that Pluto has been named a 'dwarf planet' (that would be an honour for Pluto). It's the suggestion that a dwarf planet is not a proper planet. It is a linguistic absurdity - and it sounds terribly prejudiced. I've seen headlines that I find really thoughtless, like: 'Pluto Demoted to Dwarf Planet' or even 'Pluto just a dwarf'. Dwarf people are people (they're not just 'little people') so surely, a dwarf planet should be as valid and meaningful as any other planet.
A dwarf friend,

SATURDAY September 2
No Thought for the Day

SUNDAY September 3
Visiting a country on your birthday email

Your Week Ahead:

Dear Jonathan,
My friend is an astrologer. Every year around her birthday she visits a different country, choosing a destination that avoids bad influences. Is this folly?

Dear Margie,
On your birthday, the Sun ‘returns’ to the position it held on the day you were born. That’s why we say “Many happy returns”. Some astrologers believe you can predict your coming year by drawing a horoscope for the moment of your ‘Solar Return’. By calculating this in advance for various locations, you can pick a place where the planetary alignments will affect you differently. I think there’s a big flaw in this theory but it provides a nice excuse to go travelling.


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