Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts



October 6 2008 to October 12 2008

Monday October 6
Close Encounter Cheque

Dear Jonathan,
There's a lot of chatter on the internet about a huge UFO that's due to hover in our sky for three days, starting October 14. Are the stars favourable for first contact?

Dear Brandon,
Around this time next week the Moon will be full, Mercury will be ending its retrograde phase and the Sun will align harmoniously with Neptune, planet of fantasy. The aliens could hardly have chosen a more auspicious moment to turn up. Talk about 'in the nick of time'. Let's just hope they remember to bring a few trillion dollars along with them.

Tuesday October 7

Dear Jonathan,
My twin sister and I were born 25 minutes apart. For years we have been deliberately creating different lives. Things are going swimmingly for her but not me. Do those 25 minutes really make such a difference?

Twenty-five minutes can definitely make a difference but the fact that you are twins makes that difference bigger. Unconsciously, twins often divide up their character traits. In trying so hard to be 'your own person' you may be scuppering opportunities that, astrologically, are arising for both of you. She's grabbing her chances... yet somehow you are turning yours down.

Wednesday October 8
More from the post/nose-bag

Dear Jonathan,
When I read my forecast, may I take the word 'people' to mean 'other beings'? I have horses and often I can relate the things you say in my forecast to my relationships with them.

Dear Pamela,
By all means see horses as people... but probably best not to think of people as horses.

Hi Jonathan,
Knowing you like music, I thought I'd tell you that my new song 'The Ukelele Peace Song' is available.
Fiona Branson

Dear Fiona,
I must confess, I didn't even know that the ukeleles had been at war.

Thursday October 9
More Questions

Dear Jonathan,
What do you make of the discovery that huge portions of our universe are disappearing at 3.2 million kph, all heading in the same direction?

Dear CJ,
I wonder if it is all trying to escape the credit crunch!

Dear Jonathan,
Is it bad luck to read forecasts from the past?

Dear Stuart,
Not unless you happen to be doing this whilst walking under a ladder after breaking a mirror by slipping on salt spilled whilst opening an umbrella in a house where new shoes have been left on the table on Friday the thirteenth.

Friday October 10
Can bad news be good news?

Hi Jonathan,
I've been watching your predictions that all will eventually be well with the financial crisis and I've also been watching as things seemingly get worse. What if the apparent crisis was actually a critically important evolutionary step for humanity? Would it not show up as a 'good thing' in the stars? Could a fortunate outcome for Earth and a real hum-dinger of a crash be one and the same?

Dear Steve,
Not if that meant prolonged hardship for millions. But then I still can't see anything in the sky to suggest that such hardship is inevitable.

Saturday October 11
Saturday focus

Craig Revel Horwood once directed a stage musical by my brother, Daniel. I'm declaring my interest because really, astrologers are not supposed to read the birth charts of people they know. If you're too close to someone, you'll only ever see what you want to see. On the other hand, someone needs to speak out for Craig. He's been accused by a nasty scandalous Sunday paper of having gained his British citizenship through a sham marriage. I'm sure it's not true but who cares. The man's a national treasure; as much a part of British life as er... Sir Rolf, Dame Edna.. or one of those lovely Minogue sisters. Born at Sunrise on January 4 in er... well, never you mind what year, he's a triple Capricorn; Sun, Moon and rising sign. The trouble is, a nasty Saturn/Uranus opposition is currently causing problems all over the world (collapsing banks, for example) For Craig, it's triggering a difficulty with the conjunction of Pluto and Uranus in his chart. This is why he's fallen out of step with the press. But the only judges who are due to give him a hard time soon are the ones who sit next to him on Strictly Come Dancing.

Sunday October 12
Week Ahead

Can astrologers really see the future? Of course. But we can't see it all. Imagine how dull life would be if we could. The thrill of correctly predicting lottery numbers would soon wear off. All those millions couldn't buy the kind of excitement you only ever feel when you're not quite sure what's about to happen. So, mercifully we only get brief flashes of insight. If we're clever, we can piece these together to form a picture. But the future is like a pencil drawing. Only once it actually happens does the image get 'inked over'. Till then, if you can see it, you can also see how it can be changed.

Note: Somewhat ironically, we are having some technical problems with the 5 Star site at the moment. We are working on it and will get it back up and running as soon as possible. We appreciate your patience (or even lack of it).

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