Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts



October 13 2008 to October 19 2008

Monday October 13

For weeks, astrologers have been fielding questions about the global economic crisis. Did we miss some sign in the sky? On the contrary, we all saw Comet Holmes, high and bright late last year. It's just that somehow, it dazzled us. This was an event entirely without precedent. We figured it could not possibly portend something as mundane as a recession. As comets usually herald the end of a regime or the downfall of a ruler, most of us took it to imply the sudden, spectacular collapse of a political institution. It may, of course, yet mean that too!

Tuesday October 14
Comet Holmes

Comet Holmes. It sounded so harmless. It looked so pretty. How could it have wreaked such havoc? I'm not claiming a cause and effect relationship between that heavenly omen and the collapse of the banks. No gravitational pull or invisible etheric connection turned the sub-prime sour. It's just that if the sky is a kind of a clock, the planets are like hands, moving around the zodiac dial. When a comet suddenly turns up, it's clearly time for something dramatically different. The new era we are all entering now may eventually turn out to be a much better one.

Wednesday October 15
A hiccup or two...

...and that, give or take another hiccup or two, should be that for a while. The Moon is past full. Mercury is changing direction. We have all now seen the proof of what an important portent Comet Holmes was. According to my calculations, things should calm down. By that I mean, calm down, not enter a catatonic state. Many pessimists predict problems once the consequences of the catastrophe ripple through the wider economy. With a kind of gloomy glee, they warn of galloping inflation, freefalling property prices, crippling interest rates and an unemployment epidemic. That's not what I see.

Thursday October 16
Elusive blessing

Dear Jonathan,
I'll be 70 next year. I have had many trials and tribulations, but even though life still gets problematic, I no longer feel I must do anything about it. I am just enjoying this phase of my life. Are predictions really for younger readers?

Dear Annette,
You are describing that elusive blessing: serenity. Some attain this through philosophy, creativity or compassion. Others (but by no means all) find it comes with time. Folk in such a state may not need an astrologer, but those who aren't need all the help they can get... at any age!

Friday October 17

While we wait for those economic 'hiccups' to subside, here's a reminder of what this page contained on December 10, 2007: "To some, it has been a fuzzy circle in the sky. To others, the strongest celestial signal for at least a decade, if not centuries. Soon, we get to assess its importance for ourselves. As Comet Holmes finally fades, we enter the era that it came here to herald. So, what exactly does it portend? Some point to its last flare-up, in 1892, and the 'great panic' that swept America the following year as stock market prices collapsed..."

Saturday October 18
Saturday focus

There's been a rumour going round that Mel C is about to marry. The branch of the Spice Girls fan club that operates out of my office felt that, never mind the Credit Crunch or the Large Hadron Collider, this was what the people who read my website really want to know. She's now pregnant to her long-term Taurean partner, Tom... so it doesn't seem very likely to me that a shotgun wedding is on the way. So I took a look at her chart: 9.32pm. Widnes. Jan 12, 1974. Moon rising in Virgo. Jupiter-Venus conjunction in Aquarius. Clearly very creative. Takes life surprisingly seriously, for a pop star. Saturn on the south node. Values her privacy too. But due to get married this year or next? I really can't see that. I do predict, though, that she'll have two more kids. And at least as many more hits.

Sunday October 19
Your Week Ahead

As Mercury starts picking up momentum, communication issues should get easier. Computers will be less prone to break down and text messages more likely to reach their intended destination instead of vanishing into cyberspace. The Credit Crunch won't vanish overnight, but there will be some encouraging developments in a few influential places soon - and the notion that we're heading back to the 1930s will start to be officially dispelled. This may upset the doom and gloom-mongers who are now delightedly rubbing their hands together with glee, cackling 'told you so'... But for the rest of us, it's good news!

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