Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts



March 16 2009 to March 22 2009

Monday March 16
It's not the end of the world

I used to get many letters asking if the world was really due to end in 2012, when the ancient Mayan calendar runs out. I hear less about that these days. Most folk are too worried about what's going to happen next month or next year. Indeed, they are looking forward to 2012. They reckon that, by then, the markets will have nicely recovered. If they are worried at all, it is about issues of climate change that may arise by about 2030. I rather suspect, though, that by then, the world will be worrying about something else entirely!

Tuesday March 17
MAYA2K Compliance

Hi Jonathan,
People were more worried about the Y2K computer scare back in 1999 than they are about the end of the Mayan calendar in 2012. Tyrone

Dear Tyrone,
Ah yes, the good old 'millennium bug'. I also recall a wave of worry in 1997, regarding a claim that Nostradamus predicted 'game over' by 2000. There's more substance in the Mayan vision than there ever was in either of those... but the implied prophecy involves a 'consciousness shift', not a physical disaster. We're already having to think differently about money. We may yet radically change our ideas about 'time'.

Wednesday March 18
Flares back in by 2012...

Hi Jonathan,
Apparently there is high probability of a solar flare storm in 2012. Some scientists expect it will have a devastating effect on technology. Would this have anything to do with the Mayan calendar? R. H.

Hi R.H.,
Solar flares on such a scale were last seen in October 1859. Northern lights were seen as far south as Cuba and telegraph signals were greatly disrupted. Less than a month later, Darwin's The Origin of Species was published, causing a consciousness shift in the minds of millions. I predict a equally seismic 'new way to see life' will emerge soon.

Thursday March 19
Pluto and the Underworld

Remember the official decision to 'demote' Pluto? It was, argued the authorities, far too small to be a proper planet. Astrologers never agreed. To us, Pluto represents a sinister impulse in the human psyche. In Pluto's most famous legend, the Lord of the Underworld came to the surface, kidnapped a teenage girl and dragged her down to his hidden kingdom. He made her his unwilling queen and gave her dominion over a realm of lost souls. The Josef Fritzl case spookily echoes this ancient tale... and reminds us all to be wary of dark, dreadful secrets in our midst.

Friday March 20
Y2K turned out 2BOK

There is something not quite right about suggesting the Y2K scare was a hoax. I'm a computer programmer in the financial services sector and can confirm there was a very real problem embedded within the software that performed bank and insurance processes. This was handled. A threat handled is not a hoax. Mary

Dear Mary,
I never meant to imply that the millennium bug was a hoax. I was just observing that the great fear surrounding it proved unnecessary. Climate change is not a hoax either. If that threat is taken seriously, it too will yet be 'handled'.

Saturday March 21
Your Week Ahead

My eight-year-old daughter woke up just as the Sun was rising. I pointed out the time. When it began to go down, we checked the clock once more. 'That's funny,' she said, 'it is the same time, only at night.' I told her about the word 'equinox' and how it translates into equal nights... and days. We then looked at the WESTERN horizon. I said, 'Do you remember at Christmas, how the Sun went down, over there in the South?' She nodded. I said, 'And last summer? When it was going down each night, over there in the North?' She turned and said, 'Look, Daddy, it's now in the middle.' At last, an astronomer in the family!

Sunday March 22

The age gap between Madonna and her new partner is the talk of the showbiz world. This week, Jonathan analyses the relationship between the Leo superstar and her Capricorn toyboy...
According to those who reckon to know, there's a formula you can use to decide if an age-gap relationship is appropriate. Cut the older partner's age in half.... then add 7. If the younger one is younger than that... they're 'too young'. It doesn't matter how old you are, the same rule applies. If you're 30, you shouldn't go out with anyone younger than 22 (15+7). If you're 42, your partner ought to be at least 28.
And if you're Madonna?
Read the rest of this article...

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