Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts

May 29th to June 2nd

Jupiter/Saturn conjunction lights up

Do carrots really help you to see in the dark? Maybe. And maybe too, being born on May 29 gives a similar advantage. On this day in 1769, a French chemist called Phillipe Lebon was born. He grew up to invent gaslights. Exactly 12 years (or one Jupiter cycle) later, Dr John Walker was born. Later, from his shop in Stockton on Tees he sold his new invention. Matches. On May 29, 1902, Sir Leonard Huxley arrived on this planet. He went on to be a leading figure in the development of radar. Children born today should enjoy a special ability to light up the world around them, enhanced still further by the fact that they have a rare Jupiter/Saturn conjunction in their horoscope. And, if it's your birthday this week, regardless of how old you are, you can expect a very illuminating year ahead.

Camping with the kids

One joy of being a parent is that it takes away any chance you may otherwise have of adopting airs and graces. Kids are messy... and fussy. They require you to spend half your time clearing up after them and the other half meeting impossible requests! Tony Blair may be the Prime Minister to us but, to his kids, he is simply 'dad'. My kids, similarly, don't care how many zodiac forecasts now need to be written. This week, they want to go camping in the countryside. So I am taking them. Your predictions will continue to appear as usual... provided I can manage to avoid getting them soaked in the rain or covered in cornflakes.

Tents and tentpoles

I feel sure that last year, there were more poles in my tent. The canvas is up - and the groundsheet is down - but I don't think the manufacturers would recognise their product. I know I should have checked the poles before I set off on my camping holiday but I was feeling optimistic. Actually, I still am. I rather like the peculiar shape of my temporary dwelling. And so far at least, it has kept us dry. The kids don't mind. We are enjoying our holiday. It is giving us the chance to ponder some of life's deeper questions. Like "When tent poles vanish, do they go to the same place that socks and pens go?" and "How do the rain clouds always know which camping ground we have chosen?"

Thanks to the farmhouse

Your forecasts today come courtesy of the nice people in the nearby farmhouse. To enable me to write while in the countryside this week, I brought along a little mobile home as well as a tent. This was supposed to supply a desk to sit at plus a generator to recharge my portable computer. The desk is working fine. The generator though, has degenerated. Last night, I had to knock on a stranger's door and borrow some electricity. You may wonder why I didn't foresee this in advance. In a way though, I did. I knew there were likely to be difficulties but the chart seemed to suggest I could get round them. So far, so good. If though, you turn to this page tomorrow and find nothing on it, you will know I was wrong!

Waterproofs and orange juice

Waterproof boots are wonderful things. So too, are waterproof coats. All I need now are some waterproof reference books. I have taken four of my children on a week's camping holiday. We've got a tent plus a little motorhome in which I can work, at night, when they are all in bed. During the day, this vehicle doubles as a kitchen. Last night, after a long session writing, I packed everything away... apart from my timetable of daily planetary positions. This morning, I woke up late to find that, while making their own breakfast, the kids had spilled orange juice on my crucial book. Happily, the sun came out long enough to dry it off. So I CAN still tell you what lies in store this weekend!


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