Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts

September 22nd to September 30th 2003

MONDAY September 22
Thinking Outside the Box (Jonathan Cainer) and Taking Flack With A Pinch Of Salt (Uri Geller)

Thinking Outside The Box
Last Friday, around 2am, I finally finished recording the latest phone line forecasts. Feeling tired yet restless, I decided to visit David Blaine's box. It was only then that I realised how much negativity he is attracting. "Don't you think," said one friend, "That it is insulting to the people who are really starving?" I felt puzzled. Why should fasting be any more insulting than eating? The taxi driver was next. "I hope he dies." He said, grouchily. "He is clogging up the traffic." When I got to Tower Bridge (in London, U.K.), I was truly shocked. Blaine has become a 24-hour free show. He's a magnet. Not just for well-wishers and rubber neckers but for the crazed and confused.

When I got there, many were shouting: "DA-AY-AY-AY-VID". They were not just trying to get his attention. They were trying to drive him insane with blood curdling screeches and tense, vitriolic vibes. I was starting to feel edgy.

I wanted to go. But first, I wanted to see if I could actually connect with the man in the box. I tried to 'tune in' and slowly, I got a wonderful, warm feeling. David isn't having a hard time. He's on the kind of 'natural high' that deeply spiritual people reach after days of fasting. Or that Yogis experience when they go to meditate in a cave. Then, I noticed Mars just behind his box. David is an Aries. Mars, his ruler, is also the planet of positive purpose. But Mars is also a planet of passionate prejudice.

Suddenly, I remembered how sages, seers and 'special spirits' throughout history have always attracted opprobrium. Light vibes often draw heavy vibes, even in people who are normally "light" themselves. What else explains Paul McCartney's sudden flip? Or David Bowie's recent curt comments. They say "The brighter the light... the darker the shadow." We could all do well to remember now, that the light of Mars has never been brighter.

Taking Flack With A Pinch Of Salt
by Uri Geller
David Blaine's attempt to survive without food for 44 days is doomed, according to the New Scientist, because his body will run out of salt. I've never taken anything this magazine says seriously, since they published the great Uri Geller expose back in the 70s. My telepathic abilities, they claimed with straight faces, were in fact an illusion. The truth was, they said, I'd had microscopic radio receivers implanted in my molars.

I'm visiting David almost every day. I've just come back from a trip to Tower Bridge with the actor Steven Berkoff. Steven is intensely psychic, and a powerful vibe transmitter, so we beamed all our energy up into the box. David is mentally very strong, soaking up the excitement of the crowds who are watching him night and day. I sense he has conquered his early fears now and is enjoying himself, just going with the flow.

Click here for more information on David's endurance test.
Click here for Uri Geller's psychic challenge and mind power articles..

TUESDAY September 23
The Dream Doctor explains... by Sarah Dening

From an early age, I have had numerous dreams which have subsequently come true. Sometimes the predicted situation occurs immediately, which shakes my whole being, as it is just as though I am back in the dream. Other dreams, like this one I had a few years ago, can take a couple of years or more to materialise.

In the dream, we are having double-glazing installed. The whole operation turns into a nightmare. All the windows that have been fitted have to be taken out and reinstalled. The chaos gets worse when work begins on my bedroom. Here, as soon as the old windows are removed, the wall becomes unsafe. At the time, nothing happened. Two years later, though, I received a letter with the news that the property was to have double-glazing fitted. Once the work began, everything happened just as it had in my dream, in every detail. My family was astounded.

Now I am hoping that a recent dream will come true, in which I am all dressed up and a stretch limousine arrives to collect me. The chauffeur tells me that my life is about to be changed for ever in a wonderful way.
Nicola, Basildon

Dear Nicola,
Where do you go while you are asleep? Nobody can tell you. All we know is that in some mysterious fashion, our dreams give us access to levels of consciousness we are unaware of in waking life. Many people occasionally have a predictive dream. To have so many, though, and to remember them in such detail, is highly unusual. I look forward to hearing that your recent dream has come true.

  • To read more about dreams with the Dream Doctor click here
WEDNESDAY September 24
The True Ruler of Virgo email

Dear Jonathan,
Many Astrology books say the true ruler of Virgo is not Mercury but Vulcan; a planet yet to be discovered. Is this true? And what will it mean for Virgos?
Regards, Pauline

Dear Pauline,
Vulcan was very big with astrologers about two generations ago. Fashions come and go in our field, as in all walks of life. Virgo may well get a new planet of its own one day... but I doubt it will be called Vulcan and I certainly don't expect Virgos to grow pointy ears and start acting like Mr Spock.

THURSDAY September 25
What Are They Trying To Tell Us? by John Michell

Ken and Edith Pearson are regular readers, now in their mid-70s and living in Doncaster. On two occasions they have seen a UFO. One was in the winter of 1984. They were walking with six others to a friend's engagement party just outside the town, and they all saw it "a huge, steel-grey saucer shape with lights around the edge, very silent, graceful, just above the rooftops." The Pearsons were made happy by the experience. It showed them that, "we are certainly not alone in this universe".

  • Since I began this series about UFOs I have been overwhelmed with reader's letters. Most say the same thing. There is something hypnotic about a UFO sighting. Nothing is said, no message is spelt out, but minds and lives are changed by the mysterious contact. The message that gets through, unspoken, is 'You Are Not Alone'.

  • You can tell the meaning of anything by what it does. By that token, the meaning behind UFOs is to open our eyes to the truth of things, that we are not the only conscious beings in the universe. But who is this message from? It cannot be an evil source. There are no reliable stories of people being harmed by UFO contacts. On the contrary, lives are enriched and minds comforted by this wonderful phenomenon.

  • Some people believe benevolent extra-terrestrials are preparing us for contact. Others think UFOs are manifestations from the spirit world. Perhaps they are both the same thing. Ancient records tell of 'gods' who, from time to time, come to earth and put our affairs in order. If that is what they are doing now, good luck to them.

If you have an unusual tale to tell about strange phenomena of any kind... please e-mail John at:

FRIDAY September 26
Gone Missing by Jonathan Cainer and When Saturn Leans Over and a Black Moon Bernard Fitzwalter


Dear Jonathan,
Why aren't you on the Steve Wright show on a Monday any more? BBC Radio Two isn't the same without you.

Dear Susan,
Steve and I did much the same phone-in routine for many years. We had a lot of fun and maybe one day, we'll do it again. But I wanted to find a way to do astrology more justice on the radio. I'm developing this idea now... and will let you know when I am back on the air.


I have been told I was born at a black moon. What does this mean?

Dear Sharon,
When the moon rises on the day just before a new moon, hardly any of it is lit up. It appears, just before sunrise, as a black disc against a black sky. If you think of the crescent of the new moon as a 'young' moon, then this one is very, very old. People born at this time are said to understand the things other people don't see. They take nothing at face value, and always look for the underlying motives. They are also good at keeping secrets, and it is not easy to tell what they are really thinking. Wise old souls, basically.

What does it mean when Saturn tilts 26 degrees, as it is doing now?

Dear Alex,
The ancients don't give us any guidance about this because, of course, they had no telescopes. So they could not see how this planet tilts, once every thirty years. Amazingly though, Saturn's maximum tilt (either towards us or away from us) corresponds to the times when it is in Capricorn or Cancer, where traditional astrology says it is strongest or weakest. When those rings are edge-on to us, it is in Aries or Libra, which have always been considered the best, or least troublesome signs for Saturn. Interesting that the mystical high and low points correspond to the actual ones... isn't it?

Got a tricky technical astrological question? Our resident expert, Bernard Fitzwalter, has the answer. Write to Bernard at:

Click here to read more Astronews from Bernard Fitzwalter.

SATURDAY September 27
Lucky Stars: David Beckham, Katie Price aka Jordan and Stephen Gough comments


David Beckham knows what he wants... and wants what he knows. The press, this week, have been hinting at trouble in his relationship. There ain't any. He's a classic talented Taurean; dedicated, diligent and determined. The sky speaks of a deepening bond with his new team-mates and a successful season for Real Madrid. His positive planets can only help the hopes of the English team too.

Katie Price, known to her many fans as Jordan, is a Gemini, born May 22, 1978. She's the latest in a long line of Gemini sex symbols, including Marilyn Monroe, Joan Collins, Angelina Jolie, Tom Jones, Johnny Depp and Clint Eastwood. Yet Gemini is ruled by Mercury who, in mythology, was androgynous. Why should such a cerebral sign produce steamy celebs? Maybe it's because these bookish folk have to make an active decision to 'turn on' their sexuality. So when they make the effort at all, some decide to crank it all the way up.

While Jordan is paid and paraded simply because she is willing to 'get her kit off', Stephen Gough is languishing in jail for the same reason. The poor man is trying to walk naked from Land's End to John O'Groats in the U.K. because he believes we all have a right to not wear clothes. He's accused of 'breach of the peace' and is being held in custody because he won't get dressed, even for court. Stephen, like Beckham, is a Taurean. Once he makes a commitment, he just won't drop it. His next hearing is not till October. Some folk serve less time for bank robbery.

MONDAY September 29
Reading horoscopes on the night-shift

Dear Jonathan,
I am a night shift worker. I don't start my day till the late afternoon. Should I read today's stars or tomorrow's stars?

Dear Tony,
The forecasts you need are the ones that begin on the same day as your day begins. That's a hard and fast rule. It doesn't alter whether you get up at 3am, noon or 11pm. It has to be that way. Or nobody would ever dare have a lie-in lest they woke up to a forecast saying "This would have been a great day... if only you hadn't just slept through it!"

TUESDAY September 30
Dear Jonathan,
Recently, you mentioned a rare alignment between Uranus and Pluto. When I calculate the degrees between these planets, I get 76. How is this an alignment? Joanne

Dear Joanne,
I ought to leave this for my colleague Bernard to answer on Friday... but this week, heís trying to stop a galaxy in the constellation of Sagittarius from vanishing into a black hole(!) So, as the alignment in question culminated this morning, for those who speak Astrologese, an explanation is below. And for those who donít hereís a prophecy. Momentous decisions and life changing developments await us soon.

JONATHAN ADJUSTS A PAIR OF HALF MOON SPECTACLES AND WRITES: Uranus is currently at 29 degrees and 30 minutes of Aquarius. (329 deg.30 mins tropical longitude). Pluto is at 17 degrees and 30 minutes of Sagittarius. (257deg.30min in tropical longitude.) Deduct 257.30 from 329.30 and you get exactly 72 degrees. Or at least, you did when I was at school. Sadly, not all astrology text books mention the 72 degree quintile series that splits the circle of the zodiac into five. It is not one of the traditional aspects that Ptolemy documented in the Tetrabiblos, around 150AD. I though, belong to a school of modern astrologers who consider it very relevant. Quintile intervals were first identified, a few hundred years ago, by Johan Kepler, who was also the first to realise that planets follow elliptical orbits. He considered it harmonious and helpful and attributed similar importance to the biquintile (144 degree) and semiquintile (36 degree) intervals. Arguably too, Kepler's work with quintiles provided the initial impetus for the late John Addey's ground-breaking work on planetary harmonics in the 1960s. Historic developments involving science and/or society are the most likely implications of the current quintile from Uranus to Pluto. Are you still reading? Crikey. You've got rare intellectual staying power in this age of dumbed-down soundbites. Thanks for listening.


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