Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts



September 29 2008 to October 5 2008

Monday September 29

Dear Jonathan
You published a letter from someone who felt she could hear the Hadron Collider when it was switched on in Switzerland. This is a common phenomenon amongst sensitive people. In Taos, New Mexico, many reported hearing a hum some years ago. Nobody has a satisfactory explanation, but possible causes include 'antenna farms' in places like Alaska which throw millions of watts of electromagnetic energy into the upper atmosphere for research into weather patterns. One such experiment is called the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program. There's even book about it called, Angels Don't Play This HAARP.

Tuesday September 30

Dear Jonathan,
Do you think those probems with the Large Hadron Collider were connected to Mercury turning retrograde? Emma
Dear Emma, Maybe.

Dear Jonathan,
If it is theoretically possible to change your zodiac sign, should I read several forecasts each day then pick the one I like the most? George
Dear George, No.

Hi Jonathan,
In view of all those banks going bust, do you still feel there is a reason for us to feel positive about the rest of the year? Sue
Dear Sue, Yes.

Dear Jonathan
What do you make of Sarah Palin? Lesley
Dear Lesley, Pass

Wednesday October 1

Dear Jonathan,
On Monday, you suggested Geminis should 'prioritise what will make them happy'. What if 'what will make you happy' rejects you?

Dear Nick,
If being rejected doesn't make you happy, prioritise a more likely source of happiness.

Hi Jonathan,
After 25 years, my husband has found a younger woman. She shares my birthday! I'm in pain, all is positive for her yet we both get the same readings. Please explain.

Dear Doubtful,
You are both dealing with the same issue. For you it is painful now but positive later. For her it may seem positive now...

Thursday October 2
Not the end of the world

The attempt to agree a bail-out for the US economy was set in motion last week, just as Mercury turned retrograde, I said at the time that this did not bode well for getting the co-operation of Congress. I went on to suggest that, despite this, the world would not end and politicians would sort out their differences by mid-October. I stick by this and by what I said earlier this year, about the economic crisis improving after September. Many now believe that though some nasty symptoms linger, the true cause of the problem has already passed.

Friday October 3
Out-of-body experiences

Dear Jonathan,
I'd like to comment on that scientific plan to test for proof of out-of-body experiences. I was fortunate enough to experience one of these in April 2008 after being in a coma on a life support machine. While looking down upon myself in that bizarre situation, I was contemplating all sorts of theological and philosophical arguments as to how this could be happening to me and why. I was feeling far too engaged and distracted, lucky and humbled to be able to study what pictures might have been put on a shelf for me to see!

Saturday October 4
Week Ahead

Ryan Reynolds was born on October 23. In some years, people born on this date are Librans but In 1976 they were all Scorpios. Last week, in a secretive, Scorpionic way, Ryan married Scarlett Johansson. She was born on November 22 but she's not a Scorpio. She's a spontaneous Sagittarian. Signs you see, don't click over at midnight. In different years they change at different times. To compensate for this, astrologers once had to give out average dates, but now, it's the 21st century. We've got computers and phones. Nobody need guess any more. The other day, I went to track down Michael, our editor and explain this. He was in his office but it took me a while to see him because Nicky had dressed him in a shirt the same pattern as Laurence's wallpaper! Eventually, though, he said, 'Drop the dates but give us the scoop on Ryan and Scarlett.'
So. Here goes. There are three people in this marriage. The extra factor is a Gemini, born in 1974, name of Alanis. She may be over him but is he over her? How long will it last? A little longer than the credit crunch. But then, that will be over by this time next year.

Sunday October 5

Are you nervous of the month ahead? Do you fear that it will bring frustration and exasperation? Actually, the outlook is encouraging. There will, of course, always be something. Life's like that. But for all that's undesirable, there's an equal amount that's just plain wonderful. In October, somehow, it will be easier to see that and to share it, too. Do your bit. Focus on the positive. Look on the bright side. Be forgiving, compassionate, tolerant and trusting... without (of course) becoming a fool or an easy target. Let the light shine in, though... and you'll find that your light shines out and attracts all that you need to see you through!

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