"Jonathan," said Michael, the editor of one of the magazines I write for,
"can you cast a horoscope for Peaches Geldof." I said I would, and soon
worked out that she is an idealistic Piscean with the Moon in comfort-seeking
Cancer. And she has a strong Mars Jupiter conjunction blessing her with great
energy and impetuosity.
Like Sir Bob, I have a Piscean daughter who was wild
at 19... and I have the grey hairs to prove it. But what time was Peaches
born? Where's her 'rising sign?' I can't find this out. And Max Drummey, the
man she married? He's another mystery. Nobody knows his birthday.
As I sat
at my desk, wondering what to do about this, I went into a dream. The mist
descended - and through it I saw an elderly lady, surrounded by grandchildren.
"Tell us about your madcap marriage Granny Peaches," the kids implored.
pulled her shawl around her shoulders, sat back in her hover-rocker and said,
"Well, I was only 19 and Chester French were not the rock gods they are now.
When I married Max on the spur of the moment, the blogs went crazy. They said
it would lead to a divorce. Great Grandpa Bob went bananas."
"Blogs Gran?", one of the boys cried out. "Were you alive when they still had
"Oh yes. Everyone and their mother had a website back then. That
reminds me, where's my Mum's latest blog-from-beyond?"
With that, she pushed a
button and a shimmering hologram filled the room. It was Paula, as blonde
and sassy as we all remembered her.
"Hi Peaches... and all my truly great
grandkids. I'm having a fine time here in the afterlife. And Peaches, you
and Max were right. That Aleister Crowley is a fascinating fellow. It took
me a few decades to track him down (time and space work differently when
you're merged with the infinite), but he's been teaching me how to cast
spells and read horoscopes. He could tell that Jonathan Cainer what time
you were born if you like..."
As the reincarnation machine whirred on I
felt like a fly on a wall that I wasn't supposed to be anywhere near. Out
of the corner of my mind's eye, I saw a headline on a screen. It read
"Chester French To Play Charity Concert For World's Hungry." I thought
how nice it was for Peaches that her new husband had eventually followed
in her father's footsteps. One of the grandchildren was asking Peaches a
"So, did you and Grandpa Max divorce?" asked one of the grandchildren.
"Hey," said Peaches. "What's marriage got to do with love?"
Then, I woke up. But they say that Nostradamus made all his best predictions
while in a deep trance. So I'm sticking with this vision of the future. Maybe
it makes more sense than any of us know.