Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts



March 22 2010 to March 28 2010

Monday March 22
Pulling Power

A French professor thinks Earth may exert a gravitational pull on Venus. He's done complicated calculations to explain why, at the closest points in their orbits, Venus always presents the same face to us. The idea has been raised and disregard in the past but Gerard Caudal has a new theory. If Venus had a solid core, surrounded by a liquid layer, and if that core had a peculiar shape, his sums would prove that Earth tugs on the heart of the planet of love. Might this also explain why Venus has such a tug on our hearts?

Tuesday March 23
Inner Gravitas

Scientists are now giving serious consideration to a theory about a 'gravitational pull' between the Earth and Venus. If that becomes accepted wisdom, it might re-open a debate about whether the planets influence us through their 'gravity'. We know the Moon does this. We can see evidence everywhere in the way it governs the tides. As human beings contain a lot of liquid, it's easy to imagine how it could trigger high and low 'tides' in us, too. Long ago though, astrologers stopped suggesting that any other heavenly bodies have such a power. 'Experts' said it wasn't possible!

Wednesday March 24
Time unknown

Dear Jonathan,
I have always wanted a reading based on my full personal birth chart but I don't know what time I was born. Can an astrologer can use a horoscope to find out my birth time? Andy

Dear Andy,
Some people claim this ability but unless they also 'blind test' their methods on people who DO know, I don't see how they can be so sure. Even folk whose parents can be asked tend only to know their birth time approximately. That's why many astrologers focus mainly on the factors that arise from the date and year alone.

Thursday March 25
Going Nowhere Quite Slowly

In Russia, in May, six people will lock themselves into a steel container and pretend they're on a spaceship travelling to Mars. For 18 months, they'll use only the water and food that has been packed in with them. They'll even fix the intercom so that when they speak to people 'back on Earth' there's a 20-minute delay, just as there would be in space. If nothing else, the participants in this experiment will be performing a social service. Any time the rest of us suspect our lives are going nowhere, we can think of them... and feel better!

Friday March 26
Zen Monolithism

I'm still piecing together all the news that has reached me recently. There's a mysterious monolith on one of the moons of Mars... and the human race intend to find out more about it by, er... getting six people to climb into a big steel box somewhere in Russia - and then spend 18 months pretending that they're actually in a spaceship which is hurtling towards the red planet. That's very 'Zen'. Perhaps one of these volunteers will have a psychic revelation. Or maybe the monolith will emanate secret signals that somehow turn this imaginary journey into a real one?

Saturday March 27
Your Week Ahead

Have you ever wondered why the world has so many psychics and tarot readers but few astrologers? It's partly to do with the amount of maths you need to calculate a horoscope. Even if you use a computer, you've still got to study complex diagrams. Although I fancy myself as handy with numbers, some formulae still boggle my brain. The rules, for example, by which they decide when Easter will be. I think I'm right to say though, that Easter is not till next weekend because first, we have to get this week's Full Moon out of the way.

Sunday March 28
Your Week Ahead - Love Focus.

Jonathan Ross says he now intends to 'Sit on my fat ass while Jane makes the money'. Can he really just shrink into the shadows? It doesn't seem likely, but then, this man is a Scorpio.

There's a clear distinction between Jonathan Ross, the personality, and Jonathan Ross, the person. Like all Scorpios, he's deep. He's genuine too. It's not that he puts on a false front. It's more that when you go round the back, there's a whole other world to discover. He's got other things that he can do while he waits for someone, somewhere to decide they need him back on the box.

Meanwhile, Jane, his Gemini wife, actually will make money from her writing. Already, her latest movie Kick-Ass is attracting controversy and publicity. All it now needs is ticket sales. And the signs of success are written in her stars.

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