Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts

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  Jonathan's Astrological Love Computer


We're going to look at the partnership from several different angles. In the process, we're going to find out what kind of person you really are. We begin here in PART ONE, with a look at a traditional way of dividing the zodiac up into three different types of sign.

1) First, find your own category and read.

2) Next find your partner's and read.

3) Then, SCROLL DOWN for the reading that explains the situation from YOUR point of view.

After that, you can see how it all looks from the other side of the bed. Because, of course, there are two sides to every story. Your partner may well see the relationship very differently to you. And if you look to see his or her perspective, you could make a very useful discovery.

CARDINAL = Aries Libra Cancer Capricorn
FIXED = Taurus Leo Scorpio Aquarius
MUTABLE = Gemini Pisces Sagittarius Virgo

What do the signs of Aries, Libra, Cancer and Capricorn have in common?

Cheek. And plenty of it. An ability to be absolutely outrageous. A sense of daring that takes some people's breath away.

Really. It's true. Although they don't of course, all make this instantly visible. Shy Cancerians, for example, only tend to show you this side of their personality when they are feeling very at home in your company.

Reserved, responsible Capricorns will insist that such remarks are wrong. Until, that is, they think that nobody is looking. And then, they will break every one of those barriers that they are allegedly so keen to put up.

Librans don't even try to pretend that they are sensible. They glow with pride when they are accused of acting naughtily, provocatively or even somewhat dangerously.

And people born under Aries? Well, we all know that will say anything, do anything or try anything - provided it has an edge of electric excitement to offer.

Behind the veil, all these four signs are driven by one basic impulse; the urge to conquer! They may do it actively (like hunters, pursuing their quarry) or they may do it passively (like anglers, baiting a hook) but they all thrive on the thrill of victory and they seek this, day and night!

In answer then, to the question 'How do you seduce someone born under a cardinal sign?' the answer is, you don't! You smile encouragingly, you play a little hard to get... and you let them set out to get you.

There is though, another question to which the answer may not be so obvious. How do you keep the attentive interest of such a person? You challenge them to a battle, that's how. Not a physical fight of course (or at least not unless it is a gentle, friendly one, entered into by mutual prior agreement). But a mental struggle or an emotional wrestling match. Give them a run for their money. Let them know that you intend to challenge their authority. Wind them up - at least to a point. And don't feel that this is bad. It is what turns them on... at least in moderation.

Other good ways to keep a Cardinal lover happy involve changing your mind, several times a day, about what you are intending to do. And daring them to stick to a commitment. And forgiving them when they bite off more than they can chew... time and time again!

Here, just in case you want to make your dictionary a little bigger, are four new words for stubborn. "Taurus", "Leo", "Scorpio" and "Aquarius".

These are what astrologers call the Fixed signs. All four of them have the capacity to dig in their heels and wait for what they want... no matter how long it takes. Their memories are as long as their hearts are passionate. They are, between them, the zodiac's most unashamedly sexiest signs.

What? Even the Aquarians, who are allegedly just walking computers? Yup. Especially them. They may dwell in the realm of the mind but they think, a lot, about the pleasures of the body. And this is one area where thought alone most definitely does not satisfy them.

And as for the other three... well, I'm sorry but this space is too small to waste in a description of the obvious. Besides which, this is a website for all the family. One word is all we need bother with. And that word is 'appetite'. As in voracious, relentless and insatiable.

You disagree? Well maybe that's because you happen to know one who is currently on a fast. Sometimes, ravenous people get past the point of hunger. Once they do, they can abstain for ages. Especially if they happen to be born under one of the fixed, unyielding sign. Sooner or later though, the desire to get physical will resurface... with a vengeance. But in their time, not anyone else's.

And here endeth the first lesson about how to win the heart of one of these people. You give them time. Lots of it. Months if need be. Years if you really care. And you also give them that time if you want the relationship to last. You think of the long term. You make it abundantly clear that you mean business - and you prove it, by offering your trust. You don't use words - for words are cheap, as every Taurean, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarian knows.

You don't make dramatic gestures. Indeed, you keep drama to a minimum. For even if they appear to thrive on it, they secretly find it threatening. What they want is stability, plain and simple. For while some people consider continuity to be just a little boring, these deeply loyal people crave it like a drug. And rightly so, for they deserve it.

Roll up, roll up. The show is about to start.

The Circus of Mutable Miracles presents the incredible juggling Geminis. There is nothing on earth that they cannot throw... and catch.

Don't miss the great Piscean Escapologists. No matter how you try to tie them up or pin them down, they will wriggle free in moments.

Hurry, ladies and gentlemen, to see the fearless Sagittarians, leaping bravely from the flying trapeze.

Plus, of course, our amazing team of Virgo high wire walkers.

All four belong to an ancient astrological category known as 'the mutable signs.' All four, different though they may be in many ways, share a love of challenge... and change. It has to be difficult or they don't want to do it. It must be different or they'd really rather not bother. That goes for all aspects of life... but especially for the way they behave in relationships.

They are looking for tricks that are hard to learn. They hate to feel that they know all there is to know about anything or anyone. And, they hate arguments. Yes, even the Geminis. Debates, they love. Heated discussions too. But conflict? No thank you. For all four of these signs, life is just too short to be wasted in a test of strength. It's far more fun to co-operate. Which also explains why mutable signs find it hard to be alone for long.

They don't necessarily have to be in partnership. Indeed, most find the notion of conventional marriage rather intimidating. To make it attractive, it needs to involve someone who doesn't make them feel too needed or hemmed in.

Thus, if you want a mutable person to fall for you, you should never let them know that you have fallen for them. And, if you want to stay with a Gemini, a Virgo, a Sagittarian or a Piscean for life... you should focus on your own love of life, not of them. Put fun first. Be light, be nimble and above all, be adaptable.

That applies especially in the department that some might coyly call 'horizontal and nocturnal'. Don't ever let it be just either of these two things. Be adventurous and spontaneous (but still, somewhat sensitive) in your choice of time and place. And don't ever let your love life fall into a routine. And remember, the way to awaken their heart (plus most other parts of their anatomy) is through their sense of humour.


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Artwork by Sally Fisher. All contents and artwork copyright 2008. World rights reserved