Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts

May 8th to May 12th

Romanian TV show

A funny thing happened to me on Friday. I got a phone call, inviting me to appear on the national nightly TV news... in Romania. This involved going to a studio in London and staring into a camera. I could hear the presenter but I could not see him. Nor could I understand him. I do not speak much Romanian. Suddenly, he broke into English. "Mr. Cainer. You believe the world will end because of this alignment of planets. Please tell us exactly when this will happen?" Suddenly, I understood how it must feel to be an honest cop accused of robbery. For a moment, politeness nearly got the better of me. I felt tempted to say "Yes, that's right. The world will end on Sunday." Thankfully, I resisted the urge and made my position clear. Or at least, I think I did. They kept asking similar questions. I wonder what words their translator was putting into my mouth?

Site problems?

IF you have been having trouble getting onto this site lately, I sincerely apologise. We ordered a big new, server some while ago - but it took a while to arrive - and then to set up. Now, allegedly, those teething troubles are over and there is plenty of room for everyone. If that doesn't prove to be the case - let us know. And, if it does, please tell your friends. Another reminder too that our pages from astrologer Kathryn Cassidy are rapidly expanding with astrological Frequently Asked Questions - look for her link in the left hand frame.

Name that cat

Since the cheeky little cartoon cat first appeared on our page, arguments have raged about its identity. Are we looking at a female or a tom? What zodiac sign is our feline friend? By what name does it go? World leaders have been in secret conference about the matter. The United Nations have held a special session to discuss the issue. Well, not really... but over 600 different readers' suggestions have now reached me. I never intended to let the debate go on so long but there was a small business, recently, of a rare, historic seven-fold conjunction of planets. Now though, we have a window of opportunity between that alignment and the next big cosmic development, involving Jupiter and Saturn at the end of the month. So I hereby promise that, within the next few days, we will finally "name that cat".

Cat name suggestions

Lyn from London thinks our cartoon cat should be called Wysiwig. This, of course, is an acronym from the world of computers, meaning "What You See Is What You Get". Of course, in the wonderful world of modern technology, that rarely proves the case. You see a machine that looks as if it is going to help make your life simple and successful. You get, though, a load of unhelpful messages on your screen plus a sense of hopeless exasperation. Interestingly, the very next letter on my pile of suggestions comes from Alison Cassidy in Dundee - who suggests the name Copernicus. Copernicus was the chap who cleverly and correctly argued that the earth goes round the Sun - but then came up with a dodgy set of explanations about how this happens. Proving, I suppose, that what you see definitely isn't always what you actually get! More suggestions tomorrow.

More cat name suggestions

Jeanne from Sydenham thinks our cat is a female Taurean called "Fergix"; a name derived, she explains from two others; Fergie and Felix. Mavis Harris from Luton agrees about the sign and the sex but suggests she should be called Milandref. This name, she points out, contains anagrams of all the elements. You can jumble it up to produce 'air', plus Mer (for water) flame (for fire) and land (for earth). It also contains Mil, for Millenium. Kath Ward from Reading thinks our cat is a female Piscean called "Mystic Mog" and David Tame from East Sussex makes exactly the same suggestion - but thinks that Mog is a Tom. Early next week, we shall finally bring this debate to a decisive conclusion.


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