Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts

October 20th to October 25th 2003

MONDAY October 20
Blaine, Geller, Cainer = Frauds?

Hello Jonathan,
A lot of people are already aware of the quickening. It's only a matter of time before you, Mr Blaine and Mr Geller expose yourselves as frauds.
Love and light, Mike

Dear Mike,
New agers use the term 'the quickening' to describe a time when consciousness will rise across the world. David has shown millions an ancient yogic fasting practice. Uri has helped us see how telekinesis is possible. I have tried to point out how Mars is speeding up justice. That doesn't make any of us frauds. But it does turn us all into easy targets.
Read more, about David Blaine's ordeal, in Uri Geller's page.

TUESDAY October 21
Shooting Stars

Dear Jonathan,
My mother was a great optimist. When I was little, she explained that if we are fortunate enough to witness a shooting star we should peer into the night sky, hold up our fondest wish and ask that it be granted to us. Then, we were not to tell a living soul or it would put a hex on the whole thing. So now; when I see a shooting star I close my eyes, wish upon that star and think of her. It is a lovely way to bring her close to me once more.
WEDNESDAY October 22
Mars and Natural Justice

Before the invasion of Iraq, we were told that Saddam Hussein was poised to unleash weapons of mass destruction. Soon after the war, it became clear that he never had any. Lies like this normally lie buried for years, rather than weeks. This was the first clue that Mars was speeding up the course of natural justice. Now comes the startling news that Diana predicted her own death, almost exactly as it came to pass. This is the start of a fascinating phase of the future, during which the perpetrators of many crimes will be found out.
THURSDAY October 23
John Michell - UFOs have their funny side

People say to me, "You must receive a lot of mad letters from readers about their UFO experiences." Actually, no. Of all the letters you have sent me, not one has been from a mad person.
I have read all kinds of amazing stories. They are sincere, honest accounts of things that people have seen and cannot explain. I cannot explain them either. But I have learnt much from reading about them. One thing is that you should be careful who you talk to. If you tell your friends that you have seen a UFO, they usually laugh and say you are crazy.
That happened to Bob Cowe during a mass sighting of UFOs over Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire. He and others saw a 'large, saucer-shaped object with shimmering lights round the edge'. He told the local police about it, but they just laughed.
The police made a joke of him. When they questioned some youths, who said they were just gazing at the night sky, they said, 'Don't give us that Bob Cowe stuff!'
Months later Bob was called out to see a glowing UFO overhead. He went straight to the police station and reported it. 'Not you again,' they said. 'But it is right over your station,' said Bob. He took them outside, and they all saw a huge, white UFO with a cross over it.
I had a good laugh from this story. UFOs are a serious phenomenon, but they have their funny side. Humour is part of our natural world, and if UFOs display it, I am sure they are on the side of humanity.
FRIDAY October 24
Mars and Hidden Truths

Dear Jonathan
You seem to be right about hidden truths being exposed. The scandal of police racism has come to light this week too. But why do you link Mars with all this? I thought JUPITER was the planet of justice. Mars rules aggression doesn't it?
All the best, Sherrine

Dear Sherrine
Mars (thankfully) is not having quite the influence we might have expected. Maybe, because it is currently in a Jupiter-ruled sign it is aggressively 'forcing' justice to be done. Or, maybe in making itself so visible, it is helping to make 'hidden aggression' visible too.

To read the the 'Giants of the Sky' article behind today's Astrocat illustration, visit Bernard Fitzwalter's Astronews page.

SATURDAY October 25
Cameron Diaz, John Lennon and Stephen Gough

Star Prize
Virgos never take anything, or anyone, for granted. That's why they often worry more than they really need to. But they are luckier than they realise right now, as the story of Cameron Diaz neatly illustrates. She was born on August 30, 1972 and despite earning a fortune, she still has secret insecurities. Recently, we are told, she bought a lottery ticket and scooped over 3,000. Her boyfriend is Aquarian Justin Timberlake. Born on January 31, 1981 he no doubt considers himself very lucky too.

Just imagine!
I'm sick and tired of hearing things from uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocrites All I want is the truth Just gimme some truth...? So wrote Libran John Lennon, just a couple of years after he famously appeared naked, along with Aquarian Yoko Ono on the cover of their 1969 album, Two Virgins. This provoked howls of outrage from uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocrites on both sides of the Atlantic. These days though, most people are comfortable with the idea that Nature made our bodies and we need not feel ashamed of them. The world has moved on. Or rather, most of it has. Only in Inverness has time stood still. There, ex-marine Stephen Gough remains imprisoned for the 'heinous crime' of trying to walk naked from Land's End to John O'Groats. You'll find him on this page every Saturday till he finally gets a trial. Lennon would be horrified.


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