Jonathan Cainer Zodiac Forecasts

December 20th to December 25th 2004

MONDAY December 20
Tia's Christmas story comment

"Daddy" said my three-year-old daughter recently, "Please tell me the Christmas story." I said I'd try. "Once, a mummy and a daddy were on holiday and the mummy was going to have a baby, but the hotels were all full up. So they had to sleep in a smelly barn with some animals. They weren't sad, though, because three astrologers came along and said, 'A special star in the sky tells us that your baby will grow up to be a great teacher.' And they gave them some gold and some perfume to make the barn smell better." "Daddy..." asked Tia, "Did Father Christmas come to see them too?"

TUESDAY December 21
Viktor Yushchenko email

Dear Jonathan,
I am a supporter of Viktor Yushchenko who recently tried to win an obviously rigged election in the Ukraine. After he lost, thousands took to the streets, forcing the government to hold a new vote on Boxing Day. Will democracy triumph this Christmas?
Yours, Oksana

Dear Oksana,
Viktor Yushchenko is a Piscean, born February 23, 1954. He is up against Viktor Yanukovych, a Cancerian, born July 9, 1950. Which Viktor will be the victor? Well, though the Full Moon in Cancer on Boxing Day may seem to favour the incumbent, I predict the Piscean will prevail.

WEDNESDAY December 22
Winter Solstice comment

The Winter Solstice officially took place yesterday, at 12.42pm GMT when the Sun entered Capricorn.Traditionally, the shortest day has always been a time for celebration. Britons called it Alban Arthuan because they believed, King Arthur was born on this day. The Romans then changed the name of the festival to Saturnalia in honour of the god (and planet) Saturn. Later, when the Romans imposed Christianity on the land, they declared that Saturnalia should also be considered the birthday of Jesus. Whatever you care to call the big midwinter feast... and whatever it means to you, it has now officially begun!

THURSDAY December 23
Democracy email

Dear Jonathan,
Recently, a Ukrainian reader asked you, 'Will true democracy ever prevail in my homeland?' I'm an American. I'd like to ask the same question!

Dear Teresa,
I'll have much to say about the future of America (and the rest of the world) in January when I give my predictions for 2005. I can tell you now, though, that the news is far from 'all bad'. Meanwhile, cheer up, it's Christmas. Speaking of which, tomorrow, I shall uphold my tradition of writing fun, festive forecasts. The readings below are the last 'serious' predictions from me till Monday.

FRIDAY December 24
Full Moon and the festive weekend comment

If you were deliberately planning a season of goodwill, you really wouldn't want it to coincide with a Full Moon weekend. You don't have to be an astrologer to recognise that arguments occur more easily under such conditions. Indeed, so highly-charged is the atmosphere now that I almost decided to drop my habit of writing spoof, comedy forecasts for Christmas Eve. But then, traditions are important at this time of year. So here come the jokes.

SATURDAY December 25
No Thought for the Day


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