Jonathan's Astrological Love Computer
What turns you on?
And what excites your partner?
Or your would-be-partner?
These are things that you need to be sure you know. Neither a brief encounter nor a lifelong bond can work unless you have compatible needs.
In this section, we look at how you can understand - and fulfil - those secret yearnings.
This may be easy to do... or it may be difficult. But in the land of love, there is always a solution. Armed with enough information, you can work out how to keep your lover in your arms... forever.
THAT'S the point of this astrological love computer.
WHAT REALLY TURNS YOU (AND YOUR PARTNER) ON?
To answer this just:
1) Look below and find and read your zodiac 'Element'.
2) Next, find and read your partner's.
3) Then, just scroll down until you find the combination that covers you both.
EARTH - Taurus Virgo Capricorn
AIR - Gemini Libra Aquarius
WATER - Cancer Scorpio Pisces
Look... but don't touch. Kiss... but don't tell. Play... but don't get too serious. These are the basic rules of the love game in the land of fire.
Aries, Leo and Sagittarius people dwell in a world of fantasy. That doesn't mean they can't share their hearts - or that they can't make lovely, loyal, lifelong companions. But we are looking, today, at what turns them on. What gets them going? What fans their spark of fancy into a flame of fascination?
The answer, every single time, is a notion of naughtiness; a hint of challenge, a sense of forbidden fruit. Without an electric edge of dangerous discovery, the physical plane is just too plain. Lets put it even more simply - for the point is crucially important. Fire sign people like to play with fire!
Hence the reason why some pursue secret affairs - or fatal attractions. Some, but not all. And even those who ARE tempted to stray can always be persuaded to stay. But only if their lovers fully understand how important it is to keep a guessing game going.
If you want to woo, win and, most crucially of all, hold on to a fire sign companion, nurture an air of mystery. Introduce a little uncertainty into the equation. Be a bit of a tease, though only a 'bit' of one. Fire sign people love being stirred up but they hate being wound up. They like illusion but not deception. They can't get enough honesty but they soon tire of total transparency.
This subtle distinction is easy to get the hang of, as long as you keep your spirits light. Ask yourself what's going to be the most fun, what's going to produce the greatest thrill... or what's going to produce the most dramatic tension? Then, set out to create - or supply this.
Has the earth moved for you recently? If your lover is a Taurean, a Virgo or a Capricorn, it ought to have done. These are the zodiac's earth signs and they all have the ability to smoulder and erupt, like a volcano.
You may not think this to look at them though. They usually pretend to be sensible, organised and efficient. Then, when the moment is right, they suddenly change. Think, for instance, of the businesswoman who takes off her glasses and lets down her hair... or the mild mannered reporter who turns out to wear underpants over a jump suit.
Earth sign people are masters (and mistresses) of disguise. They have to be because, if you and I knew what they were really thinking... we'd blush with embarrassment. Or, to put it another way, Earth sign people are very, very down to earth. Don't waste their time with subtle suggestions. Don't slowly try to get them in the mood. They are not open to persuasion or coercion. They are either ready for everything - or they are interested in nothing. And when the moment of enthusiasm arrives, they will let you in a clear, emphatic way.
They will reach out and touch you, softly stroke you and show you precisely what they have in mind. For these are the zodiac's sensualists. They have enormous, hearty appetites which they like to fulfil slowly, course by course by course. In their own time. When they are ready. Without pressure. But with plenty of strong, unquestioning support from their partner.
So, is there nothing you can ever do to convince an Earth sign person that love is on the menu when they say they don't feel hungry?
Hmmm. Maybe there is one thing. Offer them a massage. A proper, thorough chance to loosen the tension in their neck, shoulders and spine. Then... you can see what happens next.
Would you like to float on a cloud? If so, find yourself a Gemini, a Libran or an Aquarian. For every single day, as soon as they wake up, these people levitate towards the lofty realm of the intellect.
They are drifting souls and shifting spirits. They go wherever their thoughts may take them and sometimes, in the process, they completely forget that they even actually have a body! They may forget to eat... or they eat, without noticing, far too much foolish food. They may forget to exercise - or push themselves ridiculously and relentlessly, without realising. They can have a similarly absent minded approach to physical love.
Sometimes, they feast. Sometimes, they fast. Whichever they happen do be doing, they are somehow, secretly 'elsewhere'. Air sign people are perpetually making plans and solving problems. They are forever working out the answers to new, interesting questions. Unless you know how to reach up and join them in their mental reverie, you will never quite get their full attention.
They can, of course, make wonderful lovers. They can be extremely adventurous and wildly enthusiastic. They find it very hard though, to simultaneously engage their hearts, their bodies AND their heads. Two out of those three is normally the most they can manage. Thus, their lovers will often feel slightly cheated of something. Or at least, they will unless they too, treasure the joy of a fascinating conversation.
To love a Gemini, a Libran or an Aquarian, you've got to love talking - and listening - and discussing - and debating - and negotiating. To catch or keep an air sign person, you've simply got to remember one thing. The way to their heart... or their body... is always, always, through their head.
Would you like to know a secret? OK. First though, you must promise never to abuse the information that you are about to be given. It is sensitive, crucial and, in the wrong hands, dangerous. I am trusting you now, with a simple, foolproof way to make any Cancerian, Scorpio or Piscean fall hopelessly in love with you.
All you have to do... is tell them a secret. Show them that you trust them. Demonstrate your honesty, your sincerity... plus your need for their help and protection. But mean it. Or you will soon meet the wrath of water.
If you think that water is not an angry element, perhaps you have never found yourself out at sea, in the middle of a storm. Or seen a wave, hurling itself wildly at a cliff.
The water signs all share this capacity to produce dramatic, tidal torrents. When they are sad, they won't just shed a little pool of tears. They will cry you a river. When they are excited, they don't just well up with passion. They break an inner dam and flood the world for miles around.
These creatures of emotion live for their feelings. They wring every last drop of meaning and experience out of the sponge of the heart. Despite what this seems to imply though, they don't HAVE to be in love to enjoy an act of love. They can separate the physical from the mental with surprising ease if they choose. But when they do so, they always feel incomplete. They yearn to be totally overwhelmed, by all their senses, at one glorious moment.
If you're willing to offer them that opportunity, safely, trustingly, with all loyalty and commitment... you'll have a relationship that's never anything less than stunningly 'intense' in the nicest possible sense.
FIRE WITH FIRE
FIRE WITH EARTH
FIRE WITH AIR
FIRE WITH WATER
EARTH WITH EARTH
EARTH WITH WATER
EARTH WITH AIR
AIR WITH AIR
AIR WITH WATER
WATER WITH WATER
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