Margaret P, Oxford

Dear Margaret
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus pointed out that ‘you cannot step into the same river twice.’ A river is like life – just as the water is forever moving on, so too is life. To be immersed in a river is to be caught up in a process of natural change beyond anyone’s control. All you can do is surrender to it.

In your letter, you say you are 56 and have been divorced for many years. Your husband left you when your daughter, now in her twenties, was still a baby. Having had your trust shattered, you resolved never again to depend on a man. Eventually, you managed to find a good job and buy your own house. You go on to explain that you’ve subsequently had a few relationships, none of which worked out. Then, five years ago, you met your current partner. The relationship has had its ups and downs, you say, but you love each other and are generally happy in each other’s company. Recently, your partner suggested you get married, pool your resources and buy a home together. Although you want to be with him, you’re worried about losing your cherished independence.

Your dream reflects the fact that you have come to a point of natural change in your life. It is greatly to your credit that your fear doesn’t prevent you from ‘going with the flow’, and experiencing just how exhilarating it can feel to allow yourself to be carried along. You are now clearly ready to let go and allow the future to unfold.

True independence is a state of mind that you can’t lose – whoever you live with. What you are ready to lose, however, is the fear of being let down that drove you to become self-sufficient after your divorce all those years ago. Your disappointment at having woken up is understandable – but your dream now needs to continue in your waking life.

(Sun Taurus, Moon Scorpio)