I'm a female Scorpio desperately seeking answers to why my six-year relationship with a male Cancer ended two years ago. This was his decision, not mine. I can't seem to let this go and continue on hoping he'll return and we will have a chance to repair things again. Do you see anything in either of our charts that we'll be together again?
I am truly sorry to hear of your struggles.
I'm going to answer you from the standpoint of an astrologer who works with people through difficult life situations rather than an astrologer who makes predictions about the future. There are really two issues that I see. One is that I don't think we should be using astrology to take away your power in this situation, somehow putting the solution outside you. The second is a matter of ethics. The decisions of autonomous human beings are involved and I want to respect that.
I have no doubt that some intense transits were going through both of your charts, and many recent events in the Water signs (of which you are both members) may be complicating matters, from an astrological standpoint. With people of the same element, such as water, there can be that "Can't live with them, can't live without them" feeling. Though growth and time can help that. The fact that you are such an emotionally centered person certainly is a factor in your situation.
But two years? That's a long time to wait for someone. One thing that astrology teaches is that life goes on; time marches on; and when one door closes, another usually opens some time in the near future. It sounds like you have not closed this door. And with that, you say you are having some difficulty.
What I have learned from speaking with many people about relationships is that when a relationship will not resolve or let go over a long period of time (and two years, or one full Mars cycle, is a long time in this context), there is likely to be a deeper issue, as yet unnamed. It may be an unresolved issue with a parent that is "masquerading" as the relationship with the lover or former lover. If this rings with a hint of truth, you would be wise to make a personal investigation.
This can be very rich personal growth territory. I see the potential for an important opportunity for you here and I wish you the best.
I am an Aquarius in love with a Scorpio that cannot commit to me. I want a full time life partner but I do not think that my Scorpio can ever be that. He is very helpful and kind to me but I need more. Would I be better off finding a person that I can make a life with before I get older and it will be harder for me to find someone? Or should I keep on hoping that things will change with my Scorpio? I am also in financial difficulties at this time and can see no way out.
The answer involves whether you want hope, or a relationship. While it is true that people sometimes change, I have always considered it a risky venture to gamble on people changing, and in particular, changing one specific way -- exactly the one you want. I'm not saying it will not happen; it's just that you are the one saying that you don't think your Scorpio will ever be the kind of partner you want. Listen to that!
In astrology there is often a link between matters involving money and matters involving commitment in relationship, and I have a hunch that the two matters are connected for you. Here is the common thread. Being involved in a relationship is an investment, debt or involvement with "another person's resources." Being in debt is a similar involvement on a business level, where you owe money to someone and are in a sense hooked into a relationship. So in both cases you have an involvement from which you cannot free yourself. Both involve a struggle over resources.
Here's a simple question: What do you feel you owe your partner? Maybe if you can state it, you will figure out a way to settle the debt, or to decide you can never pay it. What do you feel your partner owes you? Same basic idea; if you feel your partner owes you something, you are free to let that go, to forgive the obligation. Think like a banker. Will you get what you feel you are owed? Why do you feel it is owed to you? This is practical business rather than the usual foggy or impassioned affair of the heart.
Now, on the positive side of the equation, we could state it this way: the solution set involves claiming your power. All we can really do in this life is make decisions. Usually people suffer not from making bad decisions, but rather from making no decisions at all.
I am a Taurus and married to a Saggi, but in love with a Gemini. I have no idea what to do about this. Can you help?
When you say you are married to a Sagittarius and in love with a Gemini, you don't mention being in love with your husband. So part one of the question is what is the nature of your marriage? The answer overall will have a lot to do with that particular question. I imagine there is a bit more to the story than you are saying.
As for being involved with a Gemini, it would seem you have a decision to make about whether you wan to be with this man, and then take the necessary actions to do so.
Given that one is a Gemini and one is a Sagittarius, are you in a situation where one plays to one side of your nature, and the other plays to the other side? Are you trying to decide who you are by choosing one or the other (or both or nether) of these men?
And I'll ask one more question and hopefully not get myself in too much trouble, but have you spoken to your husband about the fact that you're in love with someone else? One conversation could make the whole situation really, really clear. Personally, my definition of a spouse (or friend) is someone to whom you can tell the truth about how you feel, and who you are.
I am a Scorpio with Scorpio in the ascendant. I awaited May 4 with some trepidation. But all passed without any emotional crises. However, June 4 was a personal nightmare. Why is it that a month passed before the effect was felt, how does that work? Or was it just chance?
Hold on while I look up May 4 in my ephemeris to see what you are talking about -- stay right there. Ah yes, a total lunar eclipse, following the April 19 solar eclipse. This answer will be in two parts. Remember, I don't have your natal chart in front of me, so I am speculating to some extent.
Now remember that the whole basis of astrology is that nothing is just a matter of chance. The whole of astrology is based on things happening in their time. That time can't always be predicted, but it can be charted in retrospect.
Part one is that eclipses can have a delayed effect. This goes for all eclipses and I presume all eclipse like critters (Venus transit included). The delayed effect-effect. One month after an eclipse, the New Moon "sets off" the eclipse and we can see another set of effects, or see the effects for the first time.
Part two is that there are likely to be other transits involved. I highly recommend to people who care enough about astrology to check in with this web page every day to get a copy of your natal chart and learn to follow the planets through it. Get a little astrological pocket calendar and learn to use it. It's not so difficult, about as difficult as following a baseball game. Then you can see the transits as they happen, and even before they happen.
I have a question for you. I am a Gemini and I had a fling with a Virgo along time ago (three years to be exact), but felt some weird close connection. I haven't thought about him in forever, but I can't seem to get him out of my head lately. Can it be some weird form of ESP? I mean he is the last person in the world to be thinking about. I have no reason to think about him. Thanks.
You may be experiencing the "Venus Retrograde Old Lovers Showing Up Syndrome," well documented by astrology. These things happen. Is there some reason you cannot call him up and have a talk and see what he's thinking? Or are you hoping he reads this column? Maybe he'll be really happy to hear from you.